tinned fish + vengeance (well, 20 minutes of it)

i'm not gonna lie, the insurmountable pressure to write this first post made me more inclined to procrastinate and let tiktok serve as my black hole scapegoat. i mean, what do i even write? should i be deep or keep it lighthearted? long or snappy? serious or silly? should i be trendy with all lowercase or will i look back with embarrassment and regret (we obviously know what i decided here and i can feel my scary 10th grade english teacher staring me down in disapproval)?

*the people pleasing in me is spiraling*

but then i remembered. i'm just writing about the little things here. the little things that infuse an ounce of gratitude and joy into my day. (i can also go back and edit this in a couple of adult years or just change the style when i feel like it i suppose...whatever this is more of me self-soothing now)

so, *deep breath*, here i go.

my boyfriend (let's call him, "m") and i have this weekly tradition that we simply call "date night." it's one of my most favorite times of the week because it's the few hours we set aside each week to connect. it doesn't always have to be a deeply intense conversation over a mildly fancy dinner (although sometimes it is). sometimes we go and watch a movie. sometimes we go for a hike. other times we battle for our pride over a game of bananagrams. this past date night, we decided on the latest tiktok charcuterie trend: tinned fish (yes, i'm a basic hoe many times in a while).

m and i have a deep love for seafood; we always joke that we could happily be pescatarian (i know i'll have peaked when this happens). so you could imagine our excitement as we browsed through the shelves on a rare trip to ✨whole foods✨. i honestly think half the fun is talking through your canned goods bracket from all the unique varieties of seafood and flavors. spicy or sweet? mussels or sardines? tomato paste or olive oil? the world is your oyster (no pun intended).

tinned fish may not be for everyone, but i will say, similar to spam, it's a food item that, when eaten well, is delicious (and for all you spam haters, you do NOT eat it straight out of can. it's is proudly one of my favorite protein options and perhaps i will dedicate a blog post solely to my love of spam in retaliation for all the whyte kids who used to make fun of my lunches packed lovingly by my korean mother #justiceforspam). so don't yuck my yum.

i digress. after much devouring, i would say our star finds were the following:

• da feesh: tomato-y sardines, thai chili yellowfin, and patagonia provisions smoked mussels

• cheese: smoked gouda (duh)

• crisps: from the ground up's cheesy cauliflower crisps - these guys felt like the healthier version of cheez-it's and were a great, flavorful base

• honorable mentions: pickled jalapeños - no explanation needed (also duh) - and cream cheese (the perfect "neutral" cheese to carry all that oily fishy deliciousness topped with a pickled jalapeño is just *chef's kiss*)

along with this delicious meal, m and i decided to watch vengeance, the latest movie directed by one of m's literary heroes, b.j. novak. m and i have actually been working on our own little screenplay for a show that is very b.j. novak-esk (perhaps more details to come in future posts to keep you on your toes...and subscribing). so, we were hoping to draw some inspiration from his latest creation.

everything was going swimmingly [except for the fact that we didn't really like the acting rip] until i popped an edible to ease a looming headache.

but on an empty stomach. all you partakers of the cannabis will immediately know my grave mistake.

i'm pleased to inform you have i have indeed survived my first bad trip. 10/10 would recommend if you want to test the limits of your mental sanity.

because i insistently reminded m that these were "my last days," we unfortunately and maybe fortunately had to put a pause to the film and soothe my unwell self with something mentally-stimulating like, i don't know, love is blind. and then, all was well and the paranoia soothed into giggly bliss with a side of boba because m's roommates' are my personal angel investors whence i come upon an unruly trip.

and that is why we merely enjoyed 20 minutes of vengeance. 

ANYWAYS, i would write a short movie review, but alas my little detour stays my thots (yes, this spelling is intentional). i will say that while the premise is promising, i wish they had casted someone else as the lead (sorry b.j., we really do love you, but we also love you enough to tell you what fell flat)

well, i think this is a good place to close up the first post (eek!!) of my blog. at the end of each post, i'm going to share the little thing on my mind of late that has brought me joy and gratitude. so, here goes:

the little thing that made me :')

finding the courage and commitment to post this first lil entry :')